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Once we were inside Amy suggested a night cap which we all had as we sat on the sofa telling stories of our past. I could tell that if Amy wanted to try something this would be the perfect time and as usual, she didn’t disappoint when she said, “Sam, you know you should be thanking Stacy, because she is the one that turned me into what I am today.” I responded, “Really, in what way?” “Well, if I didn’t go visit her our freshman year then I might never have found out how good sex can be.” Stacy laughed at this, and asked, “Really, what does that mean Amy? Do you and Sam enjoy a healthy sex life?” Amy said, “well I wouldn’t call it healthy so much as dirty and naughty and since you were the one to introduce me to it, I have you to thank. You do remember what I am talking about don’t you?” Stacy didn’t miss a beat, “Oh yea, our little party when you came to visit, how could I forget, you acted like such a slut that night.” Amy laughed and said, “I wasn’t the only one acting like a. But the sentiment is there. I got to close this and I will write you some more tomorrow. As always,Your pal,Elmo Thudpacker.Letter 4 Love That’s Hard To SwallowDear Judge, your honor sir, What did I do to get your ass in a big old uproar? I explained how this shit wasn’t my fault and I even told you that I was mortally outraged about Junk Yard and my ed-PD getting it on and how none of it was my fault even if I did kind of get things started. But I was just the innocent bystander and you was acting all pissy at me. Then when I said I thought we was friends and you said that judges don’t have friends, just defendants. And when I asked you to OR me one more time so I could get laid and all and you was taking a drink of water and you spluttered and all those people in the court room started to laugh, I got my feelings hurt. Bad. I got a sensitive side to me, you know that. But when I said that if you give me OR (That means I get out on my own recognition) I would mow your lawn and take.
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